Resources

Alcoholism is a “family” disease – those closest to the addicted individual progress downwards. Compulsive drinking affects the drinker, and it affect’s the drinker’s relationships: friendships, employment, childhood, parenthood, love affairs, marriages all suffer from the effects of alcoholism. Those special relationships in which a person is really close to an alcoholic are affected most, and people who care are the most caught up in the behavior of another person. They react to an alcoholic’s behavior. They see that the drinking is out of hand, and try to control it. They are ashamed of the public scenes, but in private they try to handle it. It isn’t long before they feel they are to blame and take on the hurt, the fears, and the guilt of an alcoholic.

Their Obsession –  These well-meaning people begin to count the number of drinks another person is having. They pour expensive liquor down the drains, search the house for hidden bottles, listen for the sound of opening cans. All their thinking is directed at what the alcoholic is doing or not doing and the hope the drinker will stop drinking. This is their obsession.

Their Anxiety – Watching other human beings slowly kill themselves with alcohol is painful. While alcoholics don’t seem to worry about the bills, the job, the children, or the condition of their health, the people around them begin to worry. They make the mistake of covering up. They fix everything, make excuses, tell little lies to mend damaged relationships, and they worry some more. This is their anxiety.

Their Anger – Sooner or later the alcoholics behavior makes other people angry. They realize that the alcoholic is not taking care of responsibilities, is telling lies, using them. They have begun to feel that the alcoholic doesn’t love them, and they want to strike back, punish, make the alcoholic pay for the hurt and frustration caused by uncontrolled drinking. This is their anger.

Their Denial – Those who are close to the alcoholic begin to pretend. They accept promises, they believe the problem has gone away each time there is a sober period. When good sense tells them there is something wrong with the alcoholic’s drinking and thinking, they still hide how they feel and what they know. This is their denial.

Their Guilt – Perhaps the most severe damage to those who have shared some part of life with an alcoholic comes in the form of the nagging belief that they are somehow at fault: they were not up to it all, not attractive enough, not clever enough to have solved this problem for the one they love. They think it was something they did or did not do. These are their feelings of guilt.

“Perhaps the most severe damage to those who have shared some part of life with an alcoholic comes in the form of the nagging belief that they are somehow at fault”

Friends and family gather together to help the addicted person. The process is designed to convey love and concern, not to vent any anger or resentment that may exist. Each person has an opportunity to state their concerns, supported by actual events that led to the concern, and their desire for the troubled individual to seek treatment immediately.

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Consequences

The impact of an intervention is in its ability to present and create a “crisis” in the addicted person’s life to a point where the person sees treatment as the only option. If the person chooses not to engage, then some significant consequences go into effect; in general, the participants withdraw their support until the person seeks help. This is not punishment but an attempt to protect themselves from the abusive behavior that an addicted person engages in on a regular basis. The family cannot control the drug or alcohol use. They can, however, control their own response to its use.

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Goals

The primary goal of any intervention is to motivate the person to seek immediate treatment. There are many reasons for attempting the intervention even if the person doesn’t engage in treatment.

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Intervention Benefits for Participants

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• The enabling system is destroyed and the addict will find it difficult continuing without their chief enablers.

• Family and friends receive drug and alcohol education so they can better deal with addiction in the future.

• Participants are informed of locally available resources.

• The conspiracy of silence is broken. Secrets are exposed.

• The family is connected to various support groups (for example, A.A. and Al-Anon). They learn about addiction and the recovery process.

• Contingency plans may be generated. The addicted person may want to try it their own way initially; however, if a relapse occurs then agreed upon consequences follow through upon.

Seek professional assistance
You have likely tried to do this alone long enough. In most cases, an outside perspective is necessary to create change and shift the family dynamics.  Have a professionally certified interventionist navigate you and your family through this difficult time.

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Stop enabling and keeping secrets
Addiction thrives in secrecy, so don’t be party to this. As uncomfortable as it may be, do not lie or cover up for the addict. Allow them to face the full consequences of their addiction.By enabling the addict you risk keeping them from hitting a bottom that they may need to hit to smash them from their denial. Reduce the shame and the stigma by open, meaningful dialogue about addiction and its impact on you.

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Learn to say “No”!
Don’t feel bad about setting boundaries. We have to know where we end and the other person begins. Unhealthy enmeshment causes both parties to become sicker.

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Nagging and threats are futile 
Say what you mean; mean what you say; don’t say it mean. Threats without consistent, supported follow-through further reinforces the addict’s behavior patterns.

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Seek support for yourself
Associate with others who can identify with the territory of dealing with addicted persons. If you isolate and keep secrets, you will be constantly questioning yourself and the logic of your own decisions.

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Educate yourself about addiction
Use our Resource material to gain a better understanding of the addiction process and how it impacts the psychological, physical and spiritual aspects of the substance-affected individual.

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Learn about the recovery process
Attend some twelve-step support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous or Co-Dependents Anonymous

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Participate in the recovery process
Learn to detach with love and set appropriate boundaries with the addicted person.

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Engage in a self-care program
Make sure you have the physical, emotional and spiritual resources to provide suitable help. Take the focus off the addicted person and put it back on yourself.  Addiction can become all consuming for the addict and those around them.

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Assist others through service work
Co-dependency evolves when dealing with an addicted person. By sharing what you have learned you will be providing a service to others, which will enhance your self-esteem.

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Find community resources.
Many resources are available in your community or area for those affected by substance abuse

 

Johnson (Surprise) Model

Dr. Vernon Johnson saw the value in family and loved ones being used in an intervention. During the 1970s, this was something new and very unconventional compared to other Intervention methods. Instead of family members “ganging up” on the addict and blaming them for hurtful feelings as well as memories, Dr. Johnson encouraged caring as the priority.

He asked the family members to confront the addict with letters that focused on how much they care for the addict. He had the family members write letters to the addict giving them a list of consequences if sobriety or rehab was not sought out.

The main purpose behind the Johnson Method is to confront the addict by motivating and encouraging them to change their lifestyle for the good of not only themselves, but of the family around them.

To continue to throw blame and insult only causes the addict to break down and ultimately stop listening; the idea of sobriety is no longer an option because their defenses are so high that nothing will convince them to change their mind. Dr. Johnson wants the addict to be confronted but in a way that their defenses are low, recognizing that an addict’s defenses are already raised when they are confronted in a surprise way.

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ARISE Model

An invitational and multiple stage process of intervention, that supports and leads the individual and family towards healing, treatment and recovery, including continuing care before during and after the initial process to support all aspects of recovery and help for the entire network of people involved.
Originated by Linking Family Systems, LLC

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Systemic Family Model

Most people who hear the word “intervention” think of conspiratorial meetings and secret discussions that lead up to an emotional, and often hostile, confrontation that humiliates and shames both the chemically dependent individual and the family members.

Unlike traditional confrontational intervention models, the Systemic Family Intervention is invitational. In this model, the entire family is invited to work together to address multiple issues in a respectful, safe, and collaborative environment. The family is then able to utilize new skills to help themselves and the dependent family member accept treatment.

The focus of Systemic Family Intervention is systemic health. As the people in the system get healthy the addicted person must change as well. As part of the process, everyone involved learns about addiction. Everything changes and the addicted person gets help through treatment – later rejoining a healthy family system.

The process usually takes place over 2 days (often on a weekend). Many families say that it is the most important thing they have ever done as a family.
Originated by Wayne Raiter, Executive Care Inc.